Caïssa’s Wisdom: #11 – Chess Variants

Rules and Etiquette for Chess Amateurs

More uncompromising ground rules from our great goddess this week. This time “chess variants” are weighed in Caïssa’s scales and they are found wanting.

Rhombic chess. WTF?!

Rhombic chess. WTF?!

#11: Blitz Chess

“I play way too much blitz chess. It rots the brain just as surely as alcohol.”
– Nigel Short

Don’t get conned into thinking that Blitz chess is real chess. It isn’t. It’s for people with attention deficit disorder whose tiny brains can’t cope with the magnitude of a proper game of chess. If you should ever find yourself tempted into playing the odd game of online blitz then there is just one piece of advice to keep in mind – don’t accept a challenge from anyone who carries the alias of ‘The Wako Kid’!

#11b: Correspondence Chess

Don’t get conned into thinking that correspondence chess is real chess. It isn’t. It’s for yellow-bellied stay-at-homes who don’t have the guts or the appropriate levels of personal hygiene to sit at a board, look their opponent in the eye and offer them a firm, dry handshake. Correspondence chess has only one factor in its favour:

“In correspondence chess, you can smoke during the game.”
– John C. Knudsen

#11c: Fischerandom Chess

Don’t get conned into thinking that Fischerandom chess is real chess. It isn’t. It’s for Luddites who believe that the game has been ruined because computers have changed the way that chess is studied and played. Just because Bobby Fischer thought it was a good idea doesn’t mean it is!

“Both players have bad positions.”
– Helmut Pfleger, commenting on the opening position in the Fischerandom game Leko-Adams, Mainz 2001, game 4

#11d: Fairy Chess

Nobody in their right mind thinks Fairy chess is real chess. You only need to look at the board and pieces to know this. That said we must remember that even luminaries such as Kasparov and Short experimented with some ‘fairy pieces’ in the exhibition games they played after their World Championship match ended as you can see in the clip below.

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  1. Daily Chess News Links May 9, 2013 – ChessCafe.com - October 22, 2014

    […] Caïssa’s Wisdom: #11 – Chess Variants Yorkshire Chess More uncompromising ground rules from our great goddess this week. This time “chess variants” are weighed in Caïssa’s scales and they are found wanting. … […]

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